It's been a long time, but I remember it like it was yesterday...

I had just started to feel like I had my motherly role under control. Both kids were out of diapers, as independent as one could imagine a two and three-year-old to be. I was slowly but surely gaining strength after 2 pregnancies, 2 births, and 2 years of intense breastfeeding.

The vacation was well-deserved and I was enjoying it to the fullest on my beloved American continent. Then came the flight back to Prague on the New York – Frankfurt – Prague route. We were supposed to take a night flight back to Europe and then a short hop from Frankfurt to Prague.

The children were tired, and I envisioned us all sleeping soundly on the plane for 8 beautiful hours.

Flying had never troubled me before. But once we took off, the usual routine of serving water and dinner didn't happen; the flight attendants remained seated and buckled at the emergency exits. Along with them, the entire plane, too. My husband watched a movie, oblivious, while I held my sleeping daughter, and my son napped on my other side.

I tried to calm my pulse, focused on my breathing, but thoughts and constant questions in my mind ("What's happening? Is everything okay? Why hasn't the captain announced anything?") kept me restless.

I Will Never Forget This

I watched the image of the plane on the monitor, examining precisely where we were on the map, trying to deduce why the turbulence wouldn’t stop.

Then as we flew over Halifax, Canada, the turbulence grew even more intense. The plane shook unpredictably, up and down, left and right... There were sighs from some passengers, the flight attendants were strapped in the entire time (even after an hour and a half into the flight), and a child began crying at the back of the plane.

Tears welled up... Strapped in not just by the safety belt, but with both kids on either side, I couldn't move or breathe. I lacked space, perspective, distance from the whole situation. I had lost my cool over New York and was now on the brink of a panic attack.

The Worst Was Yet to Come

I tried to make contact with my husband a row ahead, but didn’t want to risk waking the kids, so I didn't move. I glanced alternately at the strapped-in flight attendant at the front right and the other mother with her child across the aisle.

Suddenly, the plane plunged several meters (it felt like 100, but apparently just a few) and continued to shake in all directions.

The mother across the aisle and I exchanged glances that said it all: "I'm sooo scared!!!" 😰

The helplessness of holding your children and fearing death is indescribable. Instead of maintaining optimism and reassuring myself that everything would be okay, my thoughts spiraled in all directions.

At one point, my mind even connected with mothers of children in concentration camps, then with mothers exhausted by the bedside in hospitals...

Darkest scenarios and flashbacks from the saddest and most tragic movies raced through my mind. Nothing but crying and praying helped. I cried silently to not wake the kids and prayed with all my being to awaken all the angels in the heavens.

When we finally disembarked in Frankfurt, I felt completely exhausted and full of anger (instead of gratitude and joy).

I was angry with the airline, the captain, the crew, the lack of information during the flight, the zero care and interest in us; angry at the mothers somewhere in the back holding their children and tearfully calling on all saints.

I Was Convinced I Wouldn't Board a Plane Again

But I did. We flew to Prague, and I vowed to do something about my fear of dying in a plane.

I searched carefully, but knew that I didn't want to settle for psychologists or simulation courses at airports. I wanted more. I craved knowledge. I was even determined to get my pilot’s license!

Ultimately, I chose LoveFly, which through a podcast, webinar, and eventually even 1:1 coaching, answered all my questions, cleared my fear, and taught me some basic tips on how to handle flying without mental exhaustion.

Main Tools I Use When Traveling by Plane Today

1. Focused Breathing and Conscious Counting

Inhale for 5 seconds, hold my breath for 3 seconds, and then steadily exhale for 6-7 seconds — I repeat this until I calm down.

2. Staying Informed

As soon as I board the plane, I tell the crew that I’m afraid of flying and that I need to be informed about upcoming turbulence.

Did you know that flight crews are trained for such situations so that they can calm you down? When you let them know in advance, there’s a greater chance they'll take care of you in this regard.

There's no need to be embarrassed or pretend to be brave — on an airplane we're literally all in the same boat. :)

3. Choosing Middle Seats

In economy class, I aim for seats as central as possible (usually around the wing) because turbulence and plane dips are more bearable there.

4. Keeping My Mind Occupied

I give myself clear work tasks to focus on instead of "piloting the plane" — this can apply during mild turbulence; otherwise, I focus on breathing as described in point 1.

The Biggest Realization About My Fear of Flying

The most interesting point in my journey to overcome my fear of flying was this:

I’m not afraid of the plane crashing, but of relinquishing my control.

WOW.

Paul Tizzard jokingly called me a "control freak", which means a person who needs to have everything under control.

It wasn't always like this, but in some way, motherhood brought me this new belief:

"When I have things under control, everything is fine."

During individual coaching, we worked on rewriting this limiting belief and learned the so-called "surrender", or letting go.

Now, 10 years after that key turbulent flight, I trust "Universal laws" far more than my own control and power.

Traveling with Kids is Your Personal Harvard

Recently, our family returned from a trip to Brazil, and although we didn't experience such turbulence on the flight, my kids provided adrenaline in other ways. :)

This trip was an exit from my comfort zone in a completely different direction, but equally insightful as the story in this article.

If you enjoyed this article, also read why I compare traveling with kids to studying at Harvard.

And if you love to travel and grow, sign up for my FREE WEBINAR: Brazil 🇧🇷 Traveling with Family as My Personal Self-Development or Real stories from our travels in the capital and Rio de Janeiro.

I look forward to seeing you on Wednesday, July 17th at 7:00 PM!

PS: There will be room for your questions and registrants will also receive the recording in their email.

If you know you won't be able to attend the entire webinar, send me your questions now about self-development on the road, traveling with kids, or about Brazil itself, via a message on Instagram.